I’ve been thinking a lot about the ego lately, mine, mostly. It’s slippery. Just when I think I’ve figured it out, it shape-shifts and shows up wearing a different mask (just like GoT’s Faceless Men).
Indian philosophy, particularly Advaita Vedanta teaches about the self (I).
If there’s one thing that messes with the whole system, it’s the ego. This little thing called ahankara (अहंकार, अहं) is the mind’s personal Jedi Master of illusion, convincing you that you’re the center of the universe. You are not.
The ego doesn’t care, but it’s always busy feeding you a diet of delusions and distractions. And in the modern world this delulu becomes the temporary solulu. Non Gen-z delulu=delusion; solulu=solution.
Ego and my relation is like the story of “the mermaid and the lost pirate”. I am lost, and instead of finding my way out, I am distracted by the mermaid’s song “the ego’s tactics; desires, attachments”. The story doesn’t end well for the pirate. (from “The Witcher”).
When we are born, our minds start out clear, but somewhere along the way, we begin to attach ourselves to… well, everything. People, things, status, opinions, even the brand of clothes we buy. Updanishads tell us that these attachments are not just “stuff” - they’re the very reason we forget who we truly are.
The real atman (आत्मा), the essence of self (the real me, the truth), is beyond these attachments, but the ego doesn’t want you to know that. It whispers, “No, no. This thing you’re clinging to? That’s totally you. Believe me, take my words for it.”
And just like that, the mind gets hooked. We confuse the temporary with the eternal, believing that our job title, Instagram followers, new phone somehow define our existence. They don’t.
The ego thrives on control. If it can convince you that you’re the mastermind of your destiny, that’s a win (just like a salesperson). It tricks you into thinking that your plans, ambitions, and that one thing you really want to achieve are the most important things in the universe. Meanwhile, life (the truth) is just out there rolling eyes.
We start acting out of a need to satisfy this ego-driven sense of control. We chase achievements and recognition, while the ego laughs in the background, secretly thrilled by our delusions. The more we try to satisfy it, the further we drift from the truth. Turns out, we’re not in control. Shocking, right? It was to me.
Once the ego has got you, it doesn’t stop. No, it’s not satisfied with just one little victory. It builds a feedback loop of achieve something, feel good about it, repeat. Each time we “succeed”; the ego gets a little boost, and we get a little more lost in the illusion of self-importance. The cycle keeps going until, one day, we look in the mirror and wonder why we’re so exhausted, despite having “everything” we ever wanted. And if we never look in the mirror. Well we are done.
The maya (माया, illusion) is the ego’s playground, and we’re the players (technically pawns). The more we feed it, the more it traps us (just like a swamp). The mind goes from being a clear lens to a fogged-up window, covere by our endless desires and identities (which can not ever be fulfilled).
So, what’s the way out of this ego trap? Idk, but I’ll try. First, we’ve got to accept that the ego isn’t actually who we are. It’s not about throwing your phone in a river (well I’ve thought of it) and taking a vow of silence, but hey, it sounds tempting. It’s about realizing that the “you” that the ego parades around isn’t the true you. The real self is beyond all of that nonsense.
Once we wake up to this, the mind starts to clear. The ego’s stranglehold loosens. It doesn’t disappear, but now it knows its place. As far as I have understood untill now, the key isn’t eliminating the ego, but seeing it for what it truly is: an actor in the play, not the author.
P.S. Again the “I”, “I” “I”. Pathetic. I’m still playing nice, still tryna be the good guy. I must wake up, my “selflessness” is just another ego trip. I’m not even selfish enough to be free. What a joke.
#Unself
Last Updated: 2025-04-20 5:13PM