Is this really it?
Sometimes I look around, physically and digitally, and it feels like we’re all disappearing into our screens. Everyone’s performing, even when they’re alone. Reels looping in the background. Eyes barely open, but fingers still scrolling. The algorithm is always hungry, and we keep feeding it minutes, hours, entire days. I know many in this state.
I don’t think we mean to waste our time. It just slips. One more scroll, one more video, one more dopamine hit. It’s really easy, effortless, frictionless. But slowly, that energy we used to have, the kind that could build things, start things, just… wanders off.
Burning in the glow of curated (I’m talking about social media curated feeds) lives that aren’t ours.
And now, in 2025, there are loans for this. Actual loan products, targeted at 18–25-year-olds, branded as “freedom”, “experience”, “investments in the self”. Everything online is sponsored by the “demons”, of course.
No one’s talking about the fine print. About what it costs to chase this. About what it means to owe money for memories designed to impress people who are also pretending. Everyone’s pretending.
A part of me, is still part of this. I’ve bought things I didn’t need because I thought they’d be “useful” to me. Posted things to prove I am alive, even when I didin’t care. It’s not even about the wasted time, it’s about what we’re trading it for; the bright feeling of being noticed (pretend to be a bigger pretender, idk if that’s even a word).
But what if we’re not actually living more? What if we’re just leaking energy; one scroll, one purchase, one filter at a time? It angers me a lot. Gotta work on this (angerrr) too. Yeah, peeling the onion, one layer at a time. I’m not sure what the answer is. I’m not sure if I’m going to be able to do it. But, hey, let’s try. Maybe, some thinking will do something. If not that, maybe, just stop thinking may help. Dammit, that was just word salad.
I can remember, 10 years ago, in my village, with friends, I used to play (physically play, outside) cricket, marbles and many other outdoor games. Now, the kids of my age, now are glued to the screen. The way today, we are wasting time on total nonsense. What could have been built with that time? Who would we be if we hadn’t outsourced our curiosity to an algorithm!
I’m not judging anyone. Honestly, I don’t care. Actually I should. I’m just trying to stay awake. Trying to remember what it felt like to want something real and wild, something that didn’t come in a box or a payment plan. That’s THE TRUTH.
I’m kinda loving this writing stuff. It is forcing me to think harder. To know myself better. I think I should keep doing it. Language’s a little rough. I think, I will get better.
Maybe that’s enough, for now.
#Unself
Last updated: 2025-04-22T23:31:29+05:30